Many days near the end of work, I get confronted with issues: a department conflict or an unfair, unresourced request. My assertive personality kicks in, and in my head I start rehearsing responses: planning what I’ll say and how I’ll get what I want.We’re often tempted to turn to email before heading home, but the problem with email is we type things we’d never say to someone’s face. We lead with assertion and make the next conversation harder. What could have been collaboration becomes bargaining. What could have built trust begins to erode it.What I’ve learned to do instead is pause, and it’s hard. The next morning, I rehash my thoughts. Then I pick up the phone. I start by asking questions: What’s the ultimate objective? What happened? And almost every time, I find that my initial assumptions were wrong. Without making a single assertion, I can reaffirm shared goals and strengthen trust rather than test it.In today’s Dispatch, we want to introduce a concept I first learned decades ago as a graduate student, preference falsification, and show how a theory from economics can illuminate what it means to lead, negotiate, and build influence without losing respect.

Episodes

Pause, Reflect, and Lead: The Power of Preference Falsification